Monday, June 4, 2012

Orange Jumpsuit

While we were in Hawaii at the first wedding of my aforementioned 3 week extravaganza vacation, my sister bestowed a book on me.

Now if you don't know my sister, you may not understand what a monumental occasion this is. My mom and I are the readers of the family, the rest of them just do it because they have to. In fact, lil bro usually won't read unless he's forced to. He says it's something to do with my mom not knowing she was pregnant with him....but that's for another blog post...

Let me clarify: lil sis giving me a book is nothing new. I usually get books for birthdays and Christmas, I'm a reader, it's an easy gift to get me a book because chances are I'll really like it. This particular occasion was something new, lil sis had read the book before she gave it to me. AND she was giving it to me because she liked it so much she just knew I had to read it! Proud big sis moment, for sure! Usually it's the other way around, me giving her books to read because I think she should read them.

So, back to the book. It's called Orange Jumpsuit: Letters to the God of Freedom by Tara Leigh Cobble.
quick note: I read this book of my own volition and get no kickbacks or schwag for commenting about it on my blog
I. Loved. This. Book!

It was wonderfully written. Ms Cobble has a unique style of writing and broached subjects that I myself am usually unwilling to think about.

One of the things she writes about is following God's calling in her life, even though it goes against what every fiber of her being wants. That's a really tough thing to do. 

I've been trying to challenge myself in this way too; trying to let my heart follow the God-pulls in my life. It is incredibly frustrating. The things I want, the luxuries and people and comforts, are not usually what God wants. Grr! Why? But I'm sticking with it. 

What does it mean, exactly, you might be asking yourself. Well, it doesn't mean that I walk around barefoot, giving other people my clothes, and eating out of trash cans. That's just silly talk. But it does mean I'm giving to others instead of myself. Instead of buying myself a latte from Starbucks, a true luxury of mine, I'm going to the store to purchase a health need for my church pastor. Don't ask me why I feel like I need to buy him this, but on Sunday at church, I was so moved to get up and go to the store right then and there I knew I was supposed to do it. Instead of browsing online stores for things to buy for my new house in Tulsa, I'm going to put my time and energy to a cause a friend of mine is involved with instead. 

It means I'm going to be at true peace with my decision to move to Tulsa instead of staying in Detroit where I'm comfortable. This has been a source of major anxiety and grief for me. I have grown to love this city and the people in it so much! I can't even tell you. I will miss my church and every single member, even the pimps and the crazies. I will miss my friends and going to Tigers/Lions/Redwings games; Tulsa doesn't have any major league teams. I am going to miss all the water and trees. I will miss the history. Why do I have to go? Detroit is like my second Seattle!! 

I will trust. Trust doesn't come easily to me, just ask my therapist.... But I'll do it. 

Here's one of Tara Leigh's songs called "Naming the Dog" -- I can so relate...I'm sure many of us girls can!

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